You'd think, when I feel sick just thinking about them
together, I would avoid any kind of chance of seeing them with
each other. Not actively going looking for photos of them.
I guess part of the reason is to lure myself into believing
it didn't happen. It doesn't happen. It won't happen again. If
I can't see it then they can't have felt it. But that's not the
Whole reason.

I want to see. I want to see how they looked at him. I
want to see this person who was above him, who he craved,
who was able to hurt him, to make him cry. I want to
see what it looks like to have power over him, to
discard him, to not care, to be able to walk away. I
want to know just how to leave him behind and
still smile. How to lose him and not give a damn.